


it was an accident, i swear

by kay_on_film



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Accidental Anorexia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, BAMF MotherInnit, Concerned Wilbur Soot, Depressed Tommyinnit, Depression, DreamSMP - Freeform, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minecraft, Platonic Relationships, References to Depression, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sickfic, Tommy-centric, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit has an Eating Disorder, Yes you read that right, big brother wilbur soot, hes a minor, i am simply projecting dont mind me, i cant believe i just typed that, i guess, i mean he has an ed, im going to hell, kind of, no beta we die like the people of l'manburg, pls do not ship tommy, thats weird, use of chicken soup as a plot device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_on_film/pseuds/kay_on_film
Summary: Tommy wasn’t quite sure when he’d stopped eating, it just sort of… happened.------------------or, tommyinnit accidentally develops anorexia(this is literally just a vent fic because this just happened to me and im pissed i can't eat my favourite foods anymore so here have some tommy angst yall)
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 34
Kudos: 960
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	it was an accident, i swear

Tommy wasn’t quite sure when he’d stopped eating, it just sort of… happened.

Realistically, if you asked him, he’d be able to tell you exactly what had happened. He’d gotten so busy with the channel and college, and he was so bloody tired all the time that one morning he’d completely disregarded his alarm in favour of rolling out of bed as late as possible and jumping straight into work without giving breakfast a second thought. By the time he’d done enough work to justify a break, it was already decently well into the afternoon, so there was really no point in making breakfast when he was already past when he was meant to have lunch. It was only logical, he told himself. It just made the most sense.

And the thing is, he was right. It did make sense.

If it hadn’t become a habit.

He didn’t notice much of a difference that day, in fact he felt a bit better than usual to be honest, so he figured that this new system that allowed him to get more sleep and do more work was probably better than wasting time making breakfast anyway. There were better uses of his precious time. So it continued, the monotonous cycle of getting up and getting to work, making himself lunch if he felt hungry and going on with his life. And if the work started to get harder and the assignments started to flood in and the comments asking for more videos started to pile up and he ate lunch less and less to address everything coming at him all at once, well, no one needed to know about that. Everything was working out very well for him. He was feeling pretty good.

But it couldn’t last forever. Tommy started noticing things. Little things, little inconveniences, things he passed off as just symptoms of not getting enough sleep (he edited into the early hours of the morning almost every night, after all). The first thing he noticed was that he was always cold. Of course, being cold wasn’t exactly unusual, he did live in England, but it was a different kind of cold somehow, and it lasted even when he layered jumpers and jackets and blankets and anything else he could find. He just couldn’t seem to warm up. Then he noticed that he was always sweaty, which could have been passed off as just hormones, but considering he was also always cold and barely did any exercise (he was never really one for sports) it didn’t make much sense. Tommy wasn’t a fan of things that didn’t make sense. He noticed he was constantly exhausted, more so than he should be. He noticed he could barely hold a hand above his head for more than a minute without it feeling like it was about to fall off. He noticed, he noticed, he noticed.

It all came to a head one day when his mum brought him up chicken soup from downstairs. She didn’t make it very often, since it took quite a while and it wasn’t quite to her taste, but it was Tommy’s favourite, and he was grateful she made an effort to make it for him sometimes, so you can imagine how excited he was when she brought up a bowl for him. He hadn’t even known she was making it. She left it on his desk with a quick kiss to the top of his head, not wanting to disturb him too much, and he happily dug in as soon as she left, shouting a thank you down the hall. However, as he started eating, he noticed something was off. It was weird, since he knew for a fact that it was the same recipe his mum always used, but something just felt different. After a few bites, he was hit with a wave of nausea, stomach cramping up painfully and his mouth filling with saliva and bile. He dropped his spoon, splashing some of the broth onto his desk, which just seemed to make his nausea worse, and contemplated running to the bathroom so he wouldn’t throw up all over his PC.

He stuck it out however, the nausea eventually passing, and decided right then and there that yeah, there was definitely something wrong with him and he should probably figure out what it was before it started to affect his work ethic. So, he did what any responsible 16-year-old would do.

Went to Google.

He tried googling each symptom individually, but that just gave him a bunch of results for deadly diseases that scared the living daylights out of him. He tried googling them all at once, but this time he didn’t get anything at all. He tried every combination, but somehow still couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.

Until he added “food makes me nauseous” to his list of symptoms.

Suddenly, his browser page was filled with ‘anorexia' this and ‘eating disorder' that, and suddenly Tommy started to realize he may have fucked up in a big way.

He spent the next few hours reading article after article about the different types of eating disorders and their symptoms. He found out that someone that was already predisposed to developing an ED because of genetics (Tommy wasn’t sure if that was him) or someone already suffering from a mental illness (Tommy knew that was him) could actually develop an eating disorder on accident quite easily. It happened all the time, people not eating because of their depression or whatever else and then finding they couldn’t anymore. It was strangely comforting, knowing that there were people out there who understood what was happening to him, but it wasn’t able to overshadow the intense panic starting to fester in his stomach. With each passing moment, becoming more and more sure that he had actually developed anorexia completely by accident, the panic grew and grew. Because Tommy wasn’t stupid. He knew how dangerous eating disorders could be, he’d learned about them at school. He’d never thought that lesson would apply to him though.

Safe to say, Tommy was pretty freaked out.

He tried his best to ignore what was happening to him, to will it away, to make himself normal again, but things just seemed to get worse. He started wearing fuzzy socks all the time because his feet were freezing, he started doing his online classes in bed because he couldn’t find the strength to stand up, he started pulling at his hair in stress and was shocked when it came out easily, strands slipping through his fingers onto the floor.

What scared him most, though, was that when he looked in the mirror, a little voice in his head would tell him that he was too tall, that he needed to lose weight, that his hair looked bad, that his skin was awful, his teeth were crooked, his-

He started avoiding mirrors all together.

One day, finally, he decided to talk to someone about it.

“Hey Tommy, what’s up?” Wilbur’s voice crackled through his headphones as he picked up the discord call.

“Not much, Big Dubs, not much,” Tommy glanced behind him quickly, making sure his door was shut. He didn’t want his parents hearing this conversation.

“Ok, then why the call? You don’t usually call just me,”

“Yeah, I know,” Tommy’s teeth worried at his lip, unsure of exactly what he wanted to say, or how he wanted to say it. “I just wanted to talk to you about something, you know, man to man.” Wilbur chuckled at that.

“Okay child, what’s on your mind?”

Tommy paused. He really didn’t know how this was going to play out. But oh well, he figured, here goes nothing.

“D’you know much about eating disorders, Wil?”

And there it was. Out in the open. Tommy waited, fidgeting, as Wilbur was silent for a moment. Tommy figured he’d caught the other man a bit off guard, which was understandable, so he gave him a second. Finally, Wilbur spoke.

“I mean, not really. I never dealt with that, but I have friends who have, so I know a bit from them, I guess. Why, where is this coming from?” Wilbur sounded worried, and as much as Tommy didn’t want to make his friend upset, it felt a little bit nice to know someone out there was looking out for him. He smiled to himself before taking a deep breath. He’d called Wilbur to tell him about his problem, after all, and now was the time. Tommy took another breath and then-

“Well you see, Big Dubs, I think I gave myself one on accident.”

Well.

That was certainly one way for him to have put it, Tommy supposed. Good a way as any.

“I’m sorry, what?” Wilbur near-shouted into his ears, startling Tommy a bit, “What do you mean, on accident?”

“Well, I sort of stopped eating because I was too busy, see, but then my body got all used to it and now I’ve got all these symptoms of anorexia and to be honest Wil it’s scaring me a bit because my body isn’t listening to me because I didn’t want this to happen, I promise I didn’t it just-“

“Woah, hey, calm down,” Wilbur spoke softly, trying to soothe the panicking boy, “It’s okay, you’re okay. Have you told your parents about this?”

Tommy shook his head before realizing that Wilbur couldn’t see him. “No, not yet. I’m not sure they’d understand.”

Wilbur chuckled a bit, but there was concern behind it. “Yeah, I can imagine. Seems like you’ve been dealing with a lot recently, Big T.”

Tommy huffed out an empty laugh. “Yeah,” he whispered, “I guess I have.”

“Well,” Wilbur started, choosing his words carefully, “I do think you should tell them eventually, since you should probably get some professional help, but for now, would talking to me about it be okay?”

“Yeah,” Tommy said again, shoving down the lump forming in his throat, “That’d be quite nice actually.”

And so the two talked through the night, Tommy telling Wil about everything that had been bothering him, everything that had been scaring him, and Wil listened, and Tommy felt like maybe, someday soon, everything might be okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah that's the thing i made
> 
> i hope u enjoyed it
> 
> feel free to leave requests in the comments i have 0 creativity left in me
> 
> lov u <3


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